#nowwhat

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May 12, 2012 is a day I will always hold dear to my heart. I came to CCAD a doe-eyed freshman and I leave ironically with a deer-in-the-headlight look.

This look comes from the great search that is a job. No, I was not one of those graduates blessed with a job offer right out of college. Yes, I have been applying. But the question is, am I being too picky?

I grew up in the great state of Iowa (No, not Idaho. No, we don’t grown potatoes. And no, I didn’t grow up on a farm, near a farm nor did I work on a farm). I knew that I would never stay there after high school, so I applied out of state for my undergraduate studies. That’s where CCAD came into play. I then planned the rest of my life.

With my doe-eyes plastered on my face I went through my 4 years of college, I galloped across the stage at commencement (no really, I did. I was too excited to just walk so I did this dumb, gallop that i do when I’m super stoked for something) and I find myself saying, now what?

After applying to all of my dream companies in Chicago, I sit. I wait. I bite my fingernails down to the beds in which they grow from,as my stomach grows tighter, turning about like a washing machine. Now I find myself saying, this sucks. I wait as my friends and classmates get their big boy/girl status and congratulate them on their new jobs. Secretly raging with jealousy I ask myself, what the eff is wrong with me?

Am I being too picky? Its been my dream to be in Chicago since I figured out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Well I say, too hell with it all. I have a dream, a goal to work in the great city of Chicago. Home of the deep-dish pizza and lollapalooza. And when its my time, I will get there.

I don’t give up on my dreams. And I certainly don’t give up on my goals.

P.S. I did have an amazing interview with S77 yesterday. Fingers crossed.